(In mid-scene, Max races past
and grabs Rachel's script)
Rachel: Excuse me for a moment. STEEL! Bring that back NOW!
Max: Make me!
Rachel: (glint in her eyes) You forget I'm in
business clothes now. My shoes have points.
Max: Eep! (hands script back)
Pete: I'm sorry, was I
supposed to be in this scene? I was, um...checking the food table.
(camera pans to show a buxom blonde extra picking at a salad plate)
Pete: Eheh....
Berto: Okay, so we just
reverse the polarity of the--
(WHAP! A net falls over him)
Cat: Don't mind us... (Drags him off screen.)
Laura: EXCUSE ME! Why does
SHE (points at Rachel) get all the scenes with Josh? I'M his girlfriend!
(script boy comes over, hands her latest revision, points out cast list)
Laura: Dammit. (looks at script boy) You free Friday night?
Kaneda: Five Ninja
Takeout! Somebody order Takoyaki? (stagehand whispers) Whaddaya MEAN I'm
in the wrong fic?
Director: TAKE TWO!
and....ACTION!
Berto: (nervous, looking around) So we just reverse the polarity
and....AHHHHH! (races off screen, chased by horde of screaming girls chanting
"We Love Berto!" "We Wanna Berto Plushie!")
Max: A new weapon to test?
COOL!
(POING!)
Max: A ferret blaster?
Berto: They let Maxy work props.
Max: So what do you call
this again?
Berto: The Mark-5.
Max: What does it do?
Berto: This. (pushes button, robot explodes)
Max: Is it supposed to do that?
Berto: Let me check my notes....
Max: Waitaminute...let me guess, the new writer's a Sluggite.
Berto: What's a Sluggite?
Dragonelle: Vitriol!
That's MY wardrobe!
Vitriol: It is? But I look so good in gold!
Vitriol: Oh... did I have
a line there?
(Psycho rips off one of Vitriol's arms and hits him with it.)
Dread: Now, I want
everyone to play nice. (double-checks script) I demand to have a talk
with the writers.
Psycho: If I get my butt
handed to me one more time in this episode, I'm going to see if I can't get a
job on "Action Man."
Tempest: No way, man! No one's cutting in on my time with
Asazi!
Asazi: Go find yourself a magazine, kid. I wouldn't mind having a real
man around for a change.
Alex and Max: (exchange looks.) EEEEWWWW...
Dr. X: That... is an image I did NOT need.
Asazi: (looks at Dr X) You don't have much room to
criticize.
Bio-Constrictor:
Where'ssss my trailer?
Stagehand: It's the big terrarium at the end of the row.
Jeff: Max, if you blow up
ONE MORE HAWK, you're going on your next mission on a tricycle!
Max: Hey, when do I get
another scene with Rachel? (script handed to him) Hey wait, since when do
we fight in swimsuits?
Flunkie: Here's your wardrobe, Mr. Steel. (hands him a teal speedo
with the N-Tek logo on the butt)
Max: I have to get a better agent.
Rachel: It could be worse, Mr. Steel. (walks onstage in
a teal string thong bikini. N-Tek logo is painted on her thigh)
Max: (squeaking as he sees her) I think it just got worse.
(By the coffee maker)
Pete: So it doesn't bother you that you're only a bit player?
Marshak: Nope. Trust me, kid, it's safer.
Pete: Safer? You're kidding.
Stagehand: Okay, bring in the defibrillator for the hospital scene.
Marshak: I rest my case.
Stagehand: Yeah, well,
Martinez won't come out of his dressing room... mainly because Cat's staked out
the door.
Director: How am I
supposed to work like this??
Max: Because you get the biggest paycheck?
Director: Ah, yes. Thank you.
Woody: I knew they'd ask
me back on this show eventually...
Max: What's he here for?
Stagehand: Watch.
(An anvil drops out of the sky)
Max: Fanwriters are VICIOUS.
Vitriol: (looks up from
playing solitaire one-armed) What, is it my line?
Dragonelle: So, Asazi, a
little girl talk... HOW do you get your hair to do that?
Asazi: A little-known secret that's illegal in most
countries.
Berto: So, we just reverse
the polarity and-
BLAM!
Max: Oh, that HAD to hurt.
Director: Okay, Berto! Don't touch anything more dangerous
than your toes!
Berto: No way. Max showed me this strip on the last break.
Psycho: I think I'd have better luck
doing Shakespeare....
(offstage)
Dread: Personally, I find her tiresome. Enthusiastic, yes, but
tiresome. You're welcome to her.
L'Tranger: Oh no, I wouldn't dream of enchanting her away from
you. You had her first; she's all yours.
Dread: But I don't want her! You can have her!
L'Tranger: Not a chance, John.
Dragonelle: You two sure know how to make a girl feel wanted. I don't
need either of you! (sing-song) Oh, Psycho!!
Psycho: Help! Hide me!
(on the set of Max Steel: The Next
Generation)
Misha: (showing off his new N-Tek jumpsuit) Well, what do you
think?
Aiden: The fit is...um, yeah. Excuse me for a moment....(grabs
suited Misha, drags him off-screen where we hear a loud commotion)
(after long intermission, a rather rumpled Misha reappears)
Misha: Sorry for the interruption; no one warned me of her attraction
to lycra.
Aiden: Come back! I'm not done yet!
Misha: In the meanwhile, please enjoy this special viewing of Lawrence of
Arabia. (rushes off screen)
Author's Notes: Never trust two sugar-enhanced twenty-somethings with wicked senses of humor. We might just create something like this. Ellen and I had a _real_ interesting chat night. :) What all have we referenced? Let's see, the fan community (hi Maxy!), Sluggy Freelance (Worship the Comic. Is it not nifty?), future characters (muuuuch future!), Action Man, Five Ninja Takeout (they deliver anywhere...and they mean anywhere! Check Ellen's page for profiles), Baywatch, in a round about way.... The only things we lay claim to are Aiden, Misha, the Five Ninjas and our twisted senses of humor. Oh, and I stole the term "Omake Theater" from the anime series Blue Seed.